When You're Gone
by CreativeArtisticBookworm
Summary: Ianto mourning Jack during End of Days - Warnings inside I Don't own torchwood


Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Slash, Death and lots of Angst

* * *

_I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

I wandered around the Hub, not knowing what to do, Jack was gone but he couldn't be, he came back from being shot, but Owen said he had no vital signs, I didn't want to believe he was gone.

I went into his office just looking around lost at what to do, just touching the odd objects on his desk wondering if he's touched them recently then I glanced down the man hole to where Jack's bed was and noticed it was made up neatly and not rumpled from us having sex.

I felt like breaking down realising I was never going to have sex or kiss or embrace him again.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?  
When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you_

It felt like my heart was shattering into a million little pieces and each piece was mourning Jack, I swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall.

I gently took his coat from the coat hanger and inhaled his scent - a mix of Pheromones and hot espresso.

Tears started to fall down my face as I collapsed on to the couch sobbing into Jack's coat

_When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through  
The day and make it ok  
I miss you_

God I missed him so much it felt like part of me had died with him, like I had lost half my soul or the sun had gone out.

Everything felt cold and dark without Jack there to brighten things up with one of his dirty jokes or a boyish grin or his lovely laughter.

I wondered if this is what death was like, dark and cold with no hope of ever being happy again.

_I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do  
When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?_

I always hoped there was some form of after life, being reunited with loved ones, getting to watch over the people you left behind.

Maybe Jack's watching over us or maybe he's happy to be with his loved ones that have passed on, and doesn't notice how much I need him or the rest of the team.

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
And when you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too_

I can't stand looking at his dead body he looks wrong all.

I tried looking at his face but it wasn't his, it was to stiff, to pale and lacked Jack's warmth that seems to radiate from him.

_And when you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through  
The day and make it ok  
I miss you  
We were made for each other_

I missed the way our bodies melted together when we kissed, like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together perfectly.

The way our lips molded together like they where made to fit against each other.

And the way my legs fit around hips perfectly.

Or the way his face buried into my neck at the perfect angle.

_Out here forever  
I know we were, yeah  
And all I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah_

It felt like my lungs combust from my sobs, it was getting difficult to breathe from the pain and grief.

I needed his warmh and reasurance that it was going to be okay.

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
And when you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
And when you're gone  
All the words I need to hear will always get me through  
The day and make it ok  
I miss you  
_  
God I missed him so much but I knew he wouldn't want me to spend time grieving over him no matter how much pain his loss caused.

I stood up wiping tears from my face and walked out to help Tosh knowing that I'll always miss him but I had to help my team.

Then suddenly Gwen walked in beaming with Jack following. Alive and warm.

I stood up it, felt like everything was bright and warm again.


End file.
